The Stig Uncovered

[scientist]

...and he's even more impressive than we thought.

Top Gear's mystery test driver is legendary dead racing driver Graham Hill, according to someone or other The Mole spoke to.

The identity of the hit TV show's famous wheelman will come as a shock to the dozens of gearheads worldwide who had speculated that the man in the white suit was GP World Champion Damon Hill.

"To find out that it's actually his dad will come as a shock," said a man yesterday.

In an alleged plot believed to have cost the license payer millions of pounds, BBC bosses apparently helped Graham Hill fake his own death in a plane crash.

According to Mole sources, the BBC knew as far back as 1974 that one day they'd hire Jeremy Clarkson to front their motoring show which didn't exist yet, and that Jeremy would probably go to a school where they called new boys "Stigs", and that in 2002 he'd probably invent an anonymous racing driver and probably give him that same name.

So they approached Graham Hill, whose professional driving career was over at that point, and asked him to crash a plane and then hide in a bush until he got the call from the Top Gear team 20 odd years later," said a BBC insider.

He added: "The BBC does make a mess of some things but they';re pretty good at forward planning."

The mystery driver's identity was uncovered when a cleaner discovered some empty tins of moustache wax in a Mclaren SLR that the Stig had just lapped round the Top Gear test track.

"I found the tins and the penny dropped," said the cleaner. "I mean when did you ever see Graham Hill without his moustache on?" Or something like that, anyway.

Source:
http://www.topgear.com/us/blog/more/the ... -revealed/

[TheGoodGuy]

hahahahahaha... I knew it!!

[hilliuse]

Stig Unmasked AGAIN

Top Gear's top secret racing driver is in fact the chairman of crisis-hit Royal Bank of Scotland, The Mole may have overheard someone say at some point yesterday.

Angry shareholders are now said to be demanding an immediate enquiry into the conduct of RBS boss Sir Tom McKillop, saying his moonlighting work as the man in the white mask might have been responsible for the bank's record losses. He was also a trusted advisor to the tremendously failed Lehman Brothers Holdings. If only TopGear.com America's offices were further downtown we could thank him for all the freed up parking spaces around Wall Street (hmmmm, with the Stig's ever-expanding garage... coincidence? We think not).

"No wonder we're £80 trillion in debt," stormed an angry shareholder, apparently.

"If you spend every Wednesday on the limit at the Top Gear track in a Gumpert Apollo, you're going to drop the ball with your day job sooner or later."

Sir Tom's secret identity was revealed when he moved all important board meetings from their usual time of Wednesday morning to Thursday morning. It's now believed he did this to free up time to set laps down at the TG track, as Wednesday is the day they record the show.

"He came up with some convoluted story about shifting the time to suit the Asian markets, but now we know that's all bollocks," a spokesperson allegedly said.

From: Top Gear

[hilliuse]

Scratch That...That's Mr. President Stig

It looks like Top Gear's mystery test driver has been unmasked again, and it turns out the man in the white suit is not immortal or superhuman, but is in fact the 44th President of the United States, Barack Hussein Obama.

Heck, he even said as much during his inaugural address when he noted "We will build... roads and bridges" reigning in his enthusiasm before he could add "and more racetracks. And raise speed limits. And weld strobe-lit scaffolds to the roofs of highway patrol cars."

In a shocking development, the Stig admitted to having a soft spot for electric vehicles, enthusing that we must "harness the sun and the winds... to fuel our cars." What electric vehicles, then, take up hallowed space in Stig's garage?

Later high-frequency analysis of the inaugural address also discovered the following, at a hertz only discernible by cats: The Stig's secret inaugural address.

For years now, literally nobody who watches the hit TV show has wanted to know the identity of its secret wheelman, but the cat is out of the bag after a White House cleaner found Obama stuffing the famous white suit into a desk drawer at the Oval Office. Possibly.

When grilled further by the cleaner, Obama apparently broke down and confessed that it was he who'd piloted monster 200 mph-plus hypercars such as the Bugatti Veyron and the Ferrari Enzo 'round the Top Gear track. Or so The Mole hears.

He apparently added that when the show was off air he'd decided to use the spare time to run for President of the United States of America: "I didn't expect to win, it was just something to do until the Fall TV season," Obama told the gobsmacked cleaner, probably.

He also revealed that he now feared losing his job as the man in the white suit. "I expect being President of the United States of America is pretty full on, but I'd hate to miss the next season because we'll probably be putting that new Ferrari 'round the track," someone reckons he said once. "But," he maybe added, "the last guy spent a third of his presidency on vacation or enroute, so I should be able to fit it in. Running the most powerful nation in the world, that is."

From: Top Gear

[hilliuse]

The Stig Is Ben Collins

Who is "The Stig?" It's Ben Collins! But wait, who is Ben Collins? More importantly, how was he outed at an art gallery?

For starters, Ben Collins is James Bond's stunt double from the recent 007 thriller Quantum of Solace. As to how he was outed, well, It seems Collins revealed his secret identity to a Bristol art gallery owner in order to commission an artwork commemorating his exploits on Top Gear. In 2002, Perry McCarthy revealed he was the black Stig, prompting his firing from the series. It’s believed that Collins could now suffer a similar fate.

Collins’ non-secret driving credentials are beyond reproach: he’s raced in Formula 3, NASCAR and Le Mans, as well as providing stunt driving services for television and movie production. As we've already said, he was even Daniel Craig’s stunt double in Quantum of Solace.



Collins has been tipped as the Stig before. This video from 2007 compares The Stig’s voice to Collins’ and last year a builder discovered a white racing suit and helmet while working on Collins’ home.

The BBC has declined to comment saying, “We never comment on speculation as to who or what The Stig is.”

via Telegraph via Jalopnik

Original Story

[scientist]

They have too much time on their hands at BBC

[hilliuse]

They have too much time on their hands at BBC

so true...but they funny